Okay, so numbers one and two are old lessons I’ve learned… but important none the less…
- Do not marry über charismatic dudes.
- Do not go out with someone the same day you meet them or know their name. AND buy a tazer.
- Do not confront someone who seems to have kidnapped a child… instead play along with the niceties until they leave, then hightail it to the car with your cell phone and drive way the heck out of there and call the cops.
- If your kid is kidnapped and they call you do not freak out. Calm down, they are alive. Once again play it cool, go along with it all. Have a conversation about where they are and what they’re doing. Because if you freak out then they freak out, and then they are more than likely going to get killed because now they’re on to it.
- Always wear a bullet proof vest.
- Always have more than one back up person.
- Never let someone keep walking closer to you after you’ve told them to back up. Shoot them in the kneecap.
- Do not take messages from your serial killer ex-husbands visibly upset representation. Tell the FBI everything. They will keep you from being taken hostage.
- If someone locks me in a room think like a seven year old and bang that door open with a curtain rod and a skateboard.